olly murs suggests cover-up of 'shooting'

You may remember the story about Olly Murs flying into a terrified panic while in Oxford Street in late November last year, tweeting from Selfridges “Fuck everyone get out of @Selfridges now gun shots!! I’m inside.”

It seems that Mr Murs sparked panic with his reports of gunfire, perhaps due to twitching sphincter, during an incident was actually an altercation between two men, shoppers were sent into a panic and mass evacuations took place. Mr Murs’ false reports of gunshots, coming during a period of heightened terrorist fears, were taken at face value by people in the area.

Once the attention-grabbing tweets had subsided and the Police were able to report the truth, including the fact there were no gunmen and that there was “no evidence of shots fired or casualties”, poor Ollie became the butt of jokes about twitching butts.

But today, in the time-honoured tradition of celebrities who see life differently to normal people, Mr Murs seems intent on digging an even bigger hole for himself. Speaking to the Sun about the ridicule he had faced he said “Well, next time you’re in Selfridges and that happens to you, I’ll message you and say, ‘How was that? How do you feel now? You’re not Mr Brave now, are you?’”

Maybe I’m too logical for this world but it strikes me that Mr Murs could have thought up a better defence than that in the intervening months.

I get the feeling he was expecting praise instead of ridicule, telling the Sun “If I’d done it and someone had been shooting, you’d all be sitting here now going, ‘You know what, Olly, you’ve done well.’”

Oh well, we all cope with embarrassment in different ways, I suppose.

beware of nervous celebrities
Beware of celebrity shoppers armed with Twitter.

A cover-up

But then Mr Murs seems to have lost the plot, unable to accept the reality of what happened, suggesting that perhaps there had been a cover-up when he said “Whether they were shooting into the air, or whatever, something happened that day — whether it was covered up, I don’t know. I ran for my life thinking ‘Someone’s upstairs shooting.’ The noise of people screaming, it was terrifying.”

Is Mr Murs suggesting there was a conspiracy between the owners of Selfridges and the police, presumably aimed at making him look like a quivering coward? The British Transport Police, obviously having nothing better to do with their time than answer accusations from our precious celebrities, quickly shot down the notion.

“This caused a significant level of panic which resulted in numerous calls from members of the public reporting gunfire,” said a spokesperson for the force. “Officers responded in line with our procedures of a terrorist incident, this included armed officers from British Transport Police and the Metropolitan Police. A full and methodical search of the station and Oxford Street was conducted by our specially trained firearms officers. During the search, officers did not find any evidence of gunfire at the station. During the station evacuation, one woman is believed to have sustained a minor injury. We understand that incidents like this cause panic and concern. We would therefore like to thank Londoners for their patience during this incident.”

I’m betting they’d have loved to tell Mr Murs to think before tweeting in future. Selfridges, on the other hand, might be advised to provide panic rooms on every floor to cater for their delicate celebrity customers.

Old Spice - aka Brian

Brian - Co-Editor

No, I don't use Old Spice and was given the nickname because I'm the oldest person working on Goodish Times. I was told it was either going to be 'old spice' or 'grumpy git'.

I'm a 'normal' person. Mr Average in most respects, working but not earning enough to buy an Aston Martin yet, or ever. After running a couple of businesses in the UK, I moved to Italy, where I became a language teacher and met 3 of the people now involved with GoodishTimes. After a decade teaching, I returned to the UK.

I write because I enjoy it and I like the opportunity to bite back against the flood of propaganda and hysteria that passes for news in the UK media. I don't care if you agree with what I say, only that it's interesting enough to read.